GROCERY STORE TALES

Grocery trips with Jonathan...They’ve become touchstones, marking victory or defeat, progress or regress. The grocery store is where it all started. Where God crashed into my Jonathan story. Where new hope was born. Today, success meant Jonathan stayed in the high blue plastic kiddie seat without bolting, slithering or leaping to snatch cupcakes or wander away. Triumph at the grocery. Might seem funny, but it’s a huge gift.

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His Yoke, Our Burden

It’s what we Moms do. Fix things. Band-aids on skinned knees.  An embrace to sooth a tearful child. Comfort food to welcome and cheer.  Their trusting faces say “Mommy, you can fix anything.” We believe it, until we don’t. Until we can’t.  Can’t fix it.

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Uphill With Jonathan, Or Not

Morning cloud cover and a brief respite from our steam sauna summer gave Nick and I the courage to venture out on a neighborhood walk with Jonathan. Since we live at the base of Bull Run Mountain, this involves some hilly terrain, but we’ve done this one before, Successfully! (Oh, the perils of optimism….)

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God Whispers

I’d walked past them so many times.  In their wheelchairs, heads slumped to chests or staring vacantly at the television.  My mother lives here now. She sleeps a lot now, just like them. She’s 94 years old.

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There and Back Again

I’ve just finished reading the Lord of the Rings Trilogy.  Frodo the unlikely hobbit hero,  with the help of faithful Samwise Gamgee and the unwitting aid of his enemy Gollum,  throws the Ring of Power into Mordor and saves Middle Earth…

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Jonathan Beams

A smiley Jonathan radiates sunbeams, exudes contagious joy. Saturday I straggled out of bed later than usual.  Concerned, I hurried to Jonathan’s room to find him sitting on his bed, beaming…

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Regrets and Redemption

REGRETS AND REDEMPTION Recently, a medication side-effect drove me into a pit that was new territory for me. Sure, I’ve been down before, but this-- being pressed down into an alternate reality that defied reason, blotted out joy, deferred hope-- this….

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Longing

It happened again! His smiling eyes met mine--the twinkle, the crinkle in the corners just like Daddy’s and for three seconds everything seems so normal. A smile...Tummy full, fresh breeze caressing his cheeks, Mommy’s colorful skirt. Ordinary pleasures made extraordinary when he shares them with me. Sweet deliciousness jumbles with longing, sadness.

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Joy in the Moment

Last year launched my post hands-on Mom phase for all but our dear Jonathan as our fifth son Matthew embarked on his college career. With a mixture of dread and prayerful anticipation the incurable dreamer in me hoped for some monumental vision to fill the next two decades with purpose and meaning.

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My Weakness His Grace

As the weekend progressed, a heaviness began to settle over me. Irritability, worry…how was I going do this long term? After all, I’m not getting any younger. Jonathan keeps getting stronger.

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Prayer God Hears

I’ve prayed  all sorts of prayers since Jesus invaded my life. Some embarrassingly small in faith (is there anything smaller than a grain of mustard seed?) Some sad. Some mad. Some glad! One thing I’m convinced of - He’s heard them all. … This recent series of answers has got me thinking. What makes for fruitful prayer and perhaps just as importantly, what doesn't? What's needed? What's not? And what constitutes “fruit?”

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Love in the Wait

Jonathan’s beautiful brown eyes sparkled today.  Golden late afternoon rays dappled the front porch where he sat watching me help with our dog Tosca’s much-needed clip and wash…

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Things Get Messy

Things get messy sometimes.  Jonathan loves swimming. The delighted anticipation on his face as he approaches the pool has me hooked.. You can hear his high falsetto coos echoing the length of the aquatic center. I think it must be sensory heaven for him - the feel of the water slapping against his arms, squealing and laughter of children, buoyancy.  A few weeks ago, we rushed in (meeting Daddy!) only to find the bathroom in both the family changing areas occupied.

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